The Terrorists Won

Last week’s arrests in the UK and Pakistan were reminders that we live in a dangerous world, and I’m glad those bastards – if they are guilty – are in jail. But here’s the irony: terror lives on in airports everywhere. Just try keeping tab of what you are NOT supposed to bring, and the very idea will send shivers to your spine.

Imagine going to Scotland, buying some blue label whisky, dreaming of those special occasions when you can open the prized bottle and have a drink – only to find out that you either have to drink the whole damn thing before you go through airport security or altogether throw it away. I don’t know about you, but it sounds pretty terrifying to me. Or taking one of those transatlantic flights, seated next to the biggest, hairiest person on the planet who has just finished his garlicky airline meal, has gone to sleep with a snore that drowns the sound of the plane itself, then wakes up and says “good morning” to your face. Just the thought of that garlicky morning breath with a hint of BO greeting me as I enter European air space – it’s a scary thought.

Now, apply the same to other necessities and think of the consequences if you didn’t have them on those long flights: contact lens solution, mouthwash, toothpaste, cologne, lotion – makes me NOT want to ever set foot on an airport again.


Sure we got the bozos planning whatever they’re planning and we’re covering our bases. Better alive and stinky than dead and gorgeous, right? But it seems we’re always one step behind – our policies are reactive and to the hilt. While the rules in place may give us a sense of security, the reality is we aren’t. The reality is that people have been killing each other since Cain was vanished to the east of Eden, and we have been getting better at doing it too.

So instead of all these aggravating (and unsanitary!) prohibitions, shouldn’t the authorities focus on sheer, old fashioned intelligence? Some common sense will also help – why allow lipstick and mascara when you won’t allow toothpaste? Why breast milk and not some 120 proof rum? And for Shep’s sake – please allow some mouthwash!

People will always find new (and more efficient!) ways of killing each other – it’s in our nature. They took away the stones, and we invented knives. They took away the knives, and we invented guns. We thought guns weren’t enough, and we invented bombs – lots of varieties, a bomb for every occasion – shoe bomb, fertilizer bomb, nuclear bomb, video bomb, liquid bomb, body strapped bomb – it seems our capacity to invent new ways to kill each other outweighs our capacity to love. When they invent a fabric bomb, do we fly naked?

Sure, as long as I sit next to Delia…


Ceasefire in the Middle East, eh? Guess Armageddon is not around the corner, yet.


Delia Gallagher