ET TU, DELIA?

I’d rather be speculating on the insult that triggered the headbutt seen around the globe, but Delia’s latest package has just plainly, plainly stupefied me.

That this publication called "Church Report" (I'm not putting a link here, no need to increase their traffic, since I never heard of them until now), a “national business news magazine that is distributed to over 40,000 senior pastors and Christian leaders from across the United States” conducted a poll of its subscribers and had the audacity to bill the results as the “Top 50 Most Influential Churches” - was not only unscientific at most and misleading at best – but that CNN thought it merited a package was just… pandering. And stupefying.



As someone who analyzes data for a living, I could say within a 100% confidence level that the poll was NOT representative of this America and is therefore totally and utterly STATISTICALLY INSIGNIFICANT. First of all, the sample population was simply self-selected, and therefore inclined to poll one way vs. another. OK, the sample size n = 2,000 is more than adequate. But is it unbiased? Hell, NO. It’s like someone polled the entire GOP roster from the state of Texas for The Bestest President Ever, and they came up with GWB.

Significance to my life? NADA. NIL. ZIP.

But that Delia and CNN touted the results – that’s just plain WRONG. Who the hell is Jason Christy, the magazine’s publisher, anyway? Well, he’s got great hair, that I would concede. But just who gave him the authority to proclaim this list as "official"? (And influential how, may I ask? Good "influential", bad "influential", just what kind of "influential"?) Someone might say that these churches were voted by a jury of their peers - but just who are those peers and why is this list important? Why give it even one second of airtime, except to give it some semblance of legitimacy? And just exactly when did the preacher become the church anyway?

Well, apparently, the guy with the great hairstylist is developing a religion program with CNN. Given the date of the article (10/2005), this has been in the works for some time. Why not just come out and say it then – that Delia’s package is a precursor to whatever the joder that program is going to be. Why pretend that the list is somehow official and important?

Delia pimpin' the Church Report on Live From...

And if indeed, great hairdo guy is working with CNN and its FAV person to bring religion to our living room (or in my case, my ultra-cool, hi-tech basement)– then BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID. This same guy is launching a PAC, called Impact America, “to "educate Christian conservatives across the country by reaching in to their hearts and minds as well as into their churches (My thought: AND WALLETS!) with voter guides, candidate information and issue-oriented tours across America." Don't forget to mail your checks to its AZ address.

I just have this question, this heart-breaking, gut-wrenching question, right now:

WHY, DELIA, WHY?

These so-called Conservative Christian groups have brought NOTHING but division to this country, and I cannot even begin to describe the disdain I have for their hypocrisy and vile agenda, so I am not going there. But from Delia? C’mon, I expected better! I had hoped for a more cerebral, thoughtful brand of FAV from her and CNN – not this Fox News / Pat Robertson kind of crap! Do we really need this at this point in our lives? Instead of neutralizing these morons back into their caves, CNN is giving them their own f*cking program?

NO, NO, AND - NO. PLEASE, PLEASE, MR. JON KLEIN, DON’T GO THERE.

Delia pimpin' the Church Report on American Morning...


Delia Gallagher