Much Ado About Leonardo

The movie hasn't even opened yet, and already there are thousands of items on Google News. Christian groups plan to boycott the movie and the Curia is worried over the sheeple mistaking the movie for truth: "What I'm concerned about is that decent people who do not have the proper religious education will take this nonsense for the real thing." Well, at least Cardinal Paul Poupard "did not back some Vatican cardinals' call to boycott the film."

Which I find all pretty amusing. I did read the book, and I think it is "airplane literature" - the kind you bring when you are on a trans-Atlantic/Pacific flight and they offer free booze to economy passengers like me (unlike Delia, who I'm sure travels at least on business class - so she gets free booze even if she is on a puddle-jumper to Bedford, MA) and all you really want is fall asleep after the 5th tiny bottle of Baileys or Greygoose and hope you don't have a hangover by the time you land on the other side of the pond. It's entertainment, nothing more. It's not Pulitzer or Nobel material, it's not really that provocative, it's predictable, and frankly, almost cheesy (especially the last 3 chapters). At least it's not as pretentious as Anne Rice's book, you know, the one reported by Delia. Or as multi-layered as Dan Brown's previous novels, "Angels and Demons" and "Deception Point".

What I am saying is that if all it would take to shake your faith is a drugstore thriller book, you have deeper problems. If you are as unsophisticatedly stupid as your prelates assume you to be, you really should not even be admitted near this movie; you'd be better off watching Fox - where all the good news in a parallel universe is reported. You should take your vitamins and see MI3 instead. And if that is all it would take for your pastors to assume your faith is really THAT fragile, then, they too have some pretty serious problems to ponder.

I am REALLY curious as to why people found this novel even remotely significant to their lives. Is our world really that malleable? Is our faith not as strong as our fathers', or have the "guardians of our faith" gotten so out of touch that we do not really know the difference anymore between fiction and doctrine? Is this why CNN even thought of creating a FAV Correspondent post - to journalize our faith and probe our values like they're some sort of sensationalistic commodity before said correspondent moves on to the next story that hits the radar screen? Like some media creation, does our faith have the shelf-life of a carton of milk, to be replaced when the next fresh batch of drugstore paperbacks comes in? Is this why Islam is SO protective of the Koran and its Prophet, because it is simply human nature to stray? You know, it wasn't an accident that Jesus used sheep as His metaphor for people; we really ARE that stupid, and what makes us so dangerous is that we do not even know HOW stupid we are. Ignorance and arrogance: a very dangerous combination. (It got us into Iraq, didn't it?)

Another curiousity is why Delia has NOT put together a package on this, AT ALL. Did she hear our whining when we complained about her fluff pieces late last year? Nah, let's not flatter ourselves, shall we? Delia's absence on this story is more of an aberration than an intention... It's only Tuesday, after all, and the movie doesn't open till Friday, so give her time...

On a separate note: I think I'm dying. Maybe I have the bird flu, or some venom poisoning from all the bugs that I attempted to release into the wild but ended up stinging me instead (f*ckers!) - but I feel crappier each day.

(Last Delia sighting: Easter 16 April 2006)


Delia Gallagher