Changes

This is a first-run post, because I have something new to say.

I am getting my own group at work!!! Yes, Her Hotness Delia Gallagher's humble blogger, will be getting a team of analysts to perform analytical... stuff. It's supposed to be good, right? It is, for all intent and purposes, a promotion. Why the hell do I feel so depressed? And scared? Probably because at the back of my mind, I feel I don't deserve it. None of it, at all. I know I've worked some 18-hour days, worked 7 days a week, the past few weeks; I know I've worked my ass off. I am even this close to getting a cleaning lady! That's how much I've worked lately! But I still suck. Really, I do...

What does this have to do with Her Hotness? Two things:

1. Because work has been my panacea for my Delia Cold... that virulent strain which consumes the afflicted and induces them to watch countless hours of recorded CNN segments, start their own blog and picspam it in the process with hundreds of screen caps; the cold that renders its victim listening mindlessly to old Billy Joel CDs whilst hopelessly professing their love to the TV screen... Yes,THAT cold. Has the panacea worked? Well, somewhat - the Delia Cold has mutated to a more docile strain and now only causes the victim to analyze mascara usage, find Erasure's "A Little Respect" so sad and lyrical, and indulge in a mindless game of Delian speculation (anything from her favorite CD to books she's reading to the names of her previous sweeties...)

So... my working long hours was not entirely selfless - I needed to work long hours so I wouldn't have a lot of time to think of Delia. At the end of the day, I still suck (and I still thought of Her Hotness a lot anyway...)

2. I would need someone with a doctorate to work for me - and last time we checked (and since it hasn't been disputed or corrected yet, we'd go with what we've seen in print) - Delia Gallagher is supposed to have a PhD (or DPhil, depending on which side of the pond you're on, I guess).

Okay, granted that I have a master's degree in Numb3rs and I would need someone with a comparable degree (Statistics / Economics / Finance would be acceptable) and Her Hotness probably has a degree in Theology or something... I could still get her CV and fly her out here and interview her... You know, she's got a doctorate, dammit! And my boss' directive was to hire someone with a doctorate to help me out!

So, Delia, would you like to work for me? I can probably pay you 3x what you are making at Inside the Vatican... and that CNN gig you have? We can work that into your job description. How would you like to look at numbers endlessly, identify statistically significant patterns, and create polynomial equations for forecasting? It is really fun, you know, although it sounds very drab. Don't worry, a lot of my new group members are older than I - no big deal. No, we do not have free screening of Jesus movies, but we get lots of other perks, like employee discount on a lot of stuff. And if you like golf, we do a lot of that too!

Is that a "NO"? Would you at least think about it?