Harry & The Pope

No, that's not the title of the 7th (and last installment) book of the series, but it could very well be. It seems that aside from Lord Voldemort, Harry Potter has incurred another enemy in the person of His Holiness, Eggs Benedict, who criticized the books as "subtle seductions which act unnoticed and by this deeply distort Christianity in the soul, before it can grow properly."

My first thought: I didn't know the Pope has read the Harry Potter books - he must have or he wouldn't have had an informed opinion. (It's kinda like me getting bummed over Her Hotness' magazine when I haven't really read the damn thing! But then, I am a moron, so there.)

Actually, I am skeptical of the press on this issue, and highly suspicious of Gabriele Kuby's intentions- she is, afterall, publishing a new book. But at the same time, I am deeply concerned: does this mean that reading a Harry Potter book is now considered a venial sin? Should you confess it? What should your penance be? Please contact your local bishop for immediate clarification!

My 2nd thought: Now that Harry is not on the official Vatican-approved list of books, what should young kids and aspiring wizards be reading which would not deeply distort Christianity in the soul? Maybe it's never too early to introduce them to the Old Testament and its wealth of contemporary virtues (i.e., slave ownership is okay, Thou Shalt Not Eat Lobster or Shrimp, you can sell your youngest brother... you get the idea). Or how about them Saints and Martyrs? We can teach young kids the virtue of throwing themselves into the fire, or plucking out their eyeballs so they don't have to sin, or throwing all their clothes out of the window.

(Need more mascara there, Delia?)

And my last thought: Since I have already surmised that Delia is a secret Harry Potter fan, would she be reading the Half-Blood Prince knowing it is not Benedict-approved? If so, would she enjoy the non-gratuitous violence inherent in a Quidditch game? Would Her Hottest Hotness ever notice a lowly muggle like me?