3 Funerals & Sid Vicious

The last 2 days were awesome for watching funerals and college bowls.

The Saturday news shows repeatedly played clips of Saddam being led into the gallows while the real unedited thing was posted in the internet. What struck me the most was the fact that our peerless leader was asleep - ASLEEP! - when the execution took place: "President George Bush was sleeping at his ranch in Crawford, Texas, when the final confirmation of Hussein's death was made public by Iraqi officials. National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley briefed the President about the impending execution at 6:15 pm CST, and told Bush that it would go forward in the next few hours. " Maybe Hadley meant to convey Bush's nonchalance over the death of his (or his daddy's) nemesis - but what it did convey, at least for me, was the lackey that Bush is. C'mon, Saddam was hanged at 6:05am Baghdad time, it was confirmed around 1/2 later, or 10:30pm EST, which makes it 9:30pm CST! Even Shep's dog sleeps later than that! Well, we know the Prez was tired from clearing all that brush and tumbleweed and he DID wake up bright and early on Christmas day to see what Santa left for him under the tree.

Funeral Grade: B+ for gore, creepiness, and a sleeping president

Then we watched James Brown's funeral in Georgia. I bet he ain't feeling too good now. I didn't really sit through it, not my kind of funeral. His maybe-partner Tomi Rae Hynie sang for him then dramatically dropped a rose into his casket while the crowd booed her hynie off the stage. Nice. Now, when mourners jeer at the "widow" of the deceased and cheer Al Sharpton, MC Hammer, and Michael Jackson, there is something horribly horribly wrong in this world.

Funeral Grade: C- for Michael Jackson, MC Hammer, and the "mourners" in the audience

Next we watched President Ford's arrival at Andrew's AFB, the motorcade, the eulogies at the capitol, a very frail Mrs. Betty Ford, an almost-human Dick Cheney, a pregnant Mary Cheney accompanied by her baby-momma. Lots of pomp and circumstance and traditional music - Hail to the Chief, he's the chief and he needs hailing - they even played God Save the Queen after Hail to the Chief! Okay, it was actually "My Country 'Tis of Thee", but any unsuspecting Brit would think that we're playing their national anthem. Brief interruption by some guy fainting. WTF quote of the day by Anne Armstrong, Former Ambassador to the UK, mother of Katherine Armstrong (owner of Cheney's favorite bird farm), and BFF of Kay Bailey Hutchison: "Gerald Ford was not a schmoozer at all, and yet he could appeal across the board because he was trustworthy. There wasn't a phony bone in that man's body. And frankly President Bush frankly has that same characteristic, no phoniness about them." Someone started drinking early for New Year's Eve!

Funeral Grade: A+ for Mrs. Betty Ford's dignified stance, C+ for CNN's horrid correspondents who couldn't seem to shut up

And of course, there's the Meineke Bowl, Boston College 25, Navy 24, with a last minute field goal by kicker Sid Vicious. Okay, his real name is Steve Aponavicius, but Sid is much easier to pronounce. Possible FAV angle: The Jesuits praying for that last second score, Heaven answers in the affirmative.

Bowl Grade: A+++ for sheer Eagles chutzpah




Delia Gallagher