FAV Nomination
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The DGAS has learned that the White House is planning to nominate Her Hotness, Delia Gallagher, to head the newly-created Department of Church And State. The department will be responsible for unifiying the 2 institutions and integrating them into the Federal government. It will also hear confessions, regulate the pulpit, standardize Sunday School curriculum, and oversee the invasion of the Vatican."Delia Gallagher is the perfect choice for this cabinet position - she knows so much about faith, values and religion and she also looks good on TV," President Bush reportedly said, adding, "And I don't even know her, so she's not my crony! No cronyism here!"
Right-wing conservatives and Republican die-hards immediately rebuked the pending nomination, saying that "Gallagher is not a sycophant and hasn't written anything that says Bush is the bestest president ever."
"We don't even know her position on abortion and gay marriage," the Rev. Jerry Falwell cried, "and she's a Catholic! We don't trust Catholics!" This sentiment was echoed across the Bible Belt, with preachers calling Gallagher an "independent" - an apparently worse label than a "liberal." Dr. James Dobson added, "You're either with us or against us, and it seems that Ms. Gallagher is neither. That's even worse!!!"
When reached for comments, Delia Gallagher was genuinely surprised, saying, "We have to be very careful here. Until we get independent confirmation that the President is nominating me, we have to be very careful."
Sources close to Gallagher, however, categorically said that "there is no way in hell Delia will ever take that position. Ever! NEVER EVER EVER !!! She hasn't even really had a conversation with President Bush, on anything! She didn't even vote in the last election! She just moved to New York! She just got a new Nano iPod and a Blackberry! She's busy! She's got a life!"
Meanwhile, it has been reported that Pope Benedict XVI, in anticipation of a US-led invasion, has immediately ordered that the Vatican's WMDDs (wine, money, diamonds, and dogmas) be hidden in an undisclosed location.
posted by German Shepherd II @ 11:35 AM
4 Comments:
God in Heaven! For a minute there, I actually believed that a Department of Church and State had been created without my knowledge (or approval)! LOL.
Oops! GS , the 1st comment was mine. Riley from cnnfan. :P
GS, that's a classic! Thanks for the laugh :)
Although, it's kinda scary to think that's not too far out of the realm of possibility where this administration is concerned.
A classic entry, Herr Shepherd and not that far fetched either! LOL!George W. Bush continues to amaze the Nation with his complete lack of respect for the Consititution. Our forefathers specifically directed the division of Church and State and yet, in his wisdom, he continues to force them into one. Years from now, will out children and grandchildren be comparing the wisdom of Thomas Jefferson to that of Barbara's little boy? NOT!!!! I am still pissed about his donut-serving, Bible-thumping nominee for the Supreme Court. You have to laugh when that idiot says "In 20 years, she will be the same person she is today" Well, George...20 years ago she was a Democrat and a Catholic. Delia, I am looking forward to your coverage of the impeachment of Georgie Bush within the next 2 years. Let's see what the 51% that voted for him have to say then...Just had coffee, so I am on a roll...maybe I should stick with fashion advice?
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