My Breaking News...

This is my imaginary demented Michael Jackson commentary by Her Hotness, Delia Gallagher (and NO she IS NOT a drunk!!!):

Our CNN Vaticanologist, Delia Gallagher, is standing by in Rome. Delia?

Her Hotness, DG: Well, the atmosphere in the Vatican and in Rome in general is that of quiet excitement and apprehension as Italians eat their late dinners and discuss over several bottles of wine the possible verdict in the Michael Jackson trial. The verdict will be announced at 1:55pm Pacific time, which is 10:55pm in Rome - that is generally when the 3rd course is being served and the 5th bottle of wine is being uncorked. So, very tense, very tense moments here. Here is a passerby handing me a glass of wine... "Grazie, signor..." (Drinks wine)

I spoke to our Jackologist in the Vatican and he reported from an unknown source that His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI is currently in his private quarters listening to the "Thriller" album with his fingers crossed hoping for a "Not Guilty" verdict. However, the Vatican has refused to release any statement confirming the Pope's crossed fingers, so we have to be very careful here. Unless the Vatican releases an official statement regarding the actual position of the Pope's fingers or we get a confirmation from an independent source, we have to be very careful. I just got handed another glass of wine... no, someone handed me an entire bottle which I intend to drink while waiting for the verdict. Salut! Back to you. (Drinks from bottle)

With reactions from Rome, our CNN Vaticanologist, Delia Gallagher. Delia?

Her Hotness, DG: Wait a minute, wait... white smokes from the Sistine Chapel... Habemus Verdictum!!! Yesh, some people are very happy indeed with the "Not Guilty" verdict on all counts. They are celebrating and opening more bottles of wine. Our Vatican Jackologist is quietly sobbing in one corner because after tonight, he will return to his regular job as a part time DJ. Yesh, the shmoke is white... and the crowdish ecstatic... In a few minutes, Hisholiness, Ben, will appear on the balcony to give an official blessing to the crowd afterwhich the song "Ben" will be chimed by the Basilica bells, and I expect the crowd to sing along. Back to you. (Takes another swig from the bottle...)