Is Delia GAY?

DISCLAIMER: This piece is supposed to be a SATIRE and should not be taken seriously. This is not meant to disparage Delia (or gay people) in any way. It is only meant to disparage me and my inebriated theories.

According to this research from UC Berkeley and the picture below, Delia Gallagher is likely a lesbian:

Scientists from California found that lesbian women have a greater difference in length between their ring finger and index finger than straight women do. The scientists from the University of California at Berkeley were testing a theory that higher levels of androgen - male sex hormones- in the womb influence both finger length and sexual orientation. They did this by looking at the hands of 720 men and women on the streets of San Francisco. The volunteers had their fingers measured and were asked questions about their sexual orientation and the number of older brothers and sisters in the family. In women, the ring finger and index finger tend to be about the same length. In men, however, the index finger is usually the shorter of the two digits.

While the study specified the RIGHT hand, I believe that Delia's left hand is equally indicative of sexual orientation (plus I couldn't find a picture with her right fingers fully visible so this will have to do). The study also postulated that the mother's womb adjusts for the level of androgen that each subsequent son sees before birth - an interesting point given that Her Hotness has 4 younger brothers.

Although pictures paint a thousand words, there are other observations which indicate that Delia Gallagher MIGHT indeed be a lesbian:
- She lived in San Francisco
- She is not married despite all the hot Italian dudes around her
- She spends a lot of time with men in dresses
- She is a biker chick (yes, it is a Vespa, but it is still a motorbike)
- She seems really awfully fond of Kyra Phillips (see picture below)

Of course this entire theory of Delia being GAY GAY GAY resulted from drinking half a bottle of sparkling wine and several glasses of merlot last night, so the scientific connection is totally bonkers. However, until someone tells me otherwise (or until I get tired of it), I will assume that the Her Hotness is gay. But let me just say that no matter what, Delia Gallagher will continue to be admired by this Society.