Excessive and Gratuitous

Viewing the finished Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

(...with apologies to Delia Gallagher...)

No, I am not talking about the violence – I am talking about the number of movie promos before the damn main attraction started - I counted six. At a minimum of 3 minutes a pop, that’s 18 minutes of my life I would never get back again.

Anyway…I must admit I was chomping at the bit… hell, no, I was ready to break out of the gate and outrun even Giacomo on its quest for the triple crown, to see the movie.

Sure, I already know the ending. Sure, the last 2 movies’ polemics were not very encouraging. But then the call came: no, it wasn’t for a free movie pass, but a call from my sister. And we all know calls from younger sisters have to be returned, or else they would call over and over and over again. And that is how I ended on the NJ Turnpike on an unseasonably cold Friday night.

So, it is awesome (the movie, not the turnpike). My overriding impression was: this is effing awesome! Non stop excellent fight scenes and light saber duels, R2D2 Rocks!, amazing effects, yeah!… all these within the first 15 minutes of the film. Emperor Palpatine was saved, Count Dooku was chopped, Anakin was a hero, he gets the girl, wookies rule… but alas, we all know there are 3 other movies after this one, so this cannot have a happy ending.

A conflicted Anakin, a pregnant Padme, a bearded Obi-Wan, a Chancellor channeling Donald Trump and wants to hire the next Apprentice, (or is it GW?)… oh the drama!

Are the FX exaggerated? Hell no! Are they "a defensible use of artistic license?" You betcha!

Anyone who has ever had the stomach to watch any State of the Union Address by GW will see the parallels between him and Palpatine Trump – this war is a result of a failure to listen… haven’t you thought that the Republic you are defending has become the evil empire you so vowed to defeat… he has too much power and as long as there is a war, he will hold on to that power…

Anyone who has ever loved will feel the internal struggle of Anakin to save Padme. What sacrifices are we willing to make for the ones we love? To what extent are we willing to go through to prevent an inevitable death? Why is Yoda the only one with a green light saber?

The parallels at the end were like anvils: if it doesn’t hit you, you must really be dumb - the struggle between The Force and the Dark Side – Yoda and Palpy Trump, Anakin and Obi-Wan, Padme’s death and the "birth" of Darth Vader... they all came in two’s, even the babies. Whilst these duel choreographies might seem… trite, at the most, they did a terrific job of tying the whole saga together.

Anyone who said the film is anti-Sith is probably correct, and the Siths should be pulverized if we ever saw one. Violence against a Sith is an exercise in futility, of course, because they have extraordinary powers, so unless you want to get fried, you probably shouldn’t annoy a Sith or misspell the word "sith"... for that matter.

In the end, I didn’t need popcorn or Goobers or Raisinets (too sacrilegious to eat on the first showing) to feel spent – the thought of baby sitting my sister for the weekend already took care of that.

Here's the requisite Delia picture (with her gorgeous designer scarf):