Last Days of JP2: Semi-Recap
Introduction
It began with footages of St. Peter’s square last year, Delia voicing over. Then present-day Delia at the piazza, wearing a a black suit and white top, legs showing. In dramatic voice, she proclaimed as she walked towards the camera: “This is where they came. Those millions who rushed to Rome to pray, to grieve, and to say good-bye to their beloved John Paul II” Did I mention her legs were showing? Swoon: Delia, marry me.
First interviewee, Cardinal Dziwisz: “For nearly 40 years, Cardinal Stanislaw Dziwisz and Pope John II were inseparable.” Ding ding ding! Gay alert! After much sophomoric snicker, I did calmly forego my juvenile thoughts to concentrate on the documentary once again: Delia talking to the Cardinal, sitting in front of him, listening like a good school girl.
Shots of Delia’s pointy shoes: Jimmy Choos or Manolo’s? And doesn't Delia know she shouldn't wear light-colored shoes between Labor Day and Easter? Ding ding ding! Shepherd gay alert!Then Cardinal Szoka talked about being invited to Easter and Christmas dinner and Delia lit up, excitedly asking him how it was. Swoon: Delia, will you marry me?
The next person, Mother Tekla Famiglietti, kinda frightened me, not only because of her veil which looked like a cross between a beany hat and the headpiece used for electrocuting inmates, but also because this woman was totally, totally SO infatuated with JP2, as she gushed: “It was like seeing the face of Jesus for the first time.” She reminded me of an older nun in middle school whom we suspected of having secret orgasms simply by looking at the picture of the pope. But you know how crude kids can be… Apparently, Mother Tekla was also not without controversies.
SicknessAfter the break, Delia went on to talk about the first major hospitalization of the Pope in January 2005, with gratuitous footages of synagogues, Eastern European armies, US demonstrations. She also talked about how hard the pope worked despite his illness – interviews with Szoka, Archbishop Boccardo, Dr. Proietti, Mother Famiglietti (she really *hearts* JP), Dr. Navarro Valls (whom she interviewed at the Vatican Press Office, surely brought back some memories for Delia), and Archbishop Gregory. The whole section was about JP2’s hospital admission in February 2005.
Delia went into break with this teaser: But behind the scenes at the Vatican, whispered questions. Can the pope go on? Should he step down?
Me, me, me!!! I know the answer! Pick me! Pick me!

It's really not good
JP2 was back at the hospital, blah blah blah, he had a tracheotomy, blah blah blah, when he woke up he wrote to the Blessed Mother, and Delia voiced over:
“To Mary, he wrote, I once again entrust myself. Totus tous. I'm totally yours.” Delia just said “I’m totally yours” and I rewinded the DVR a few times to hear her say over and over “I'm totally yours.” Swoon: Delia, please please please marry me?Main point: Pope was so really sick, people now worried, everyone praying.
Mother Famiglietti – you are so busted, Mother, you really had a BIG crush on JP2: “His eyes were like two stars. He spoke, but I couldn't understand anything besides, thank you. It's almost like he was saying we will see each other again. It was such a beautiful thing. So joyous.”
This time, he really diedThis section started with footage of Rome at daybreak, Delia reporting from Via della Conciliazione, visibly tired and haggard and hardly had any sleep. Swoon. Did I already ask Delia to marry me?
By all accounts, the pope died a blessed and peaceful death and people were really really sad, especially Mother Tekla, who sounded like the grieving widow: "A personal level, there was emptiness. We all felt it, because he was so dear to us. When we speak of the Holy Father, we miss him. But we know that he is always close."
Delia’s teaser before the break: One journey had ended. Another was about to begin.
Followed by a commercial of a car backing into something. How appropriate.
The next journey - CONDENSEDThe rest of the documentary showed the funeral, conclave, and the beatification process. A footage of Delia speaking Italian at Msgr. Oder's office was particulary sexy. Swoon.
Delia teasers:
Secrets of the conclave. Revealed.
Secret investigation. Begins.
I thought it was the announcer for "A Current Affair"
The documentary ended with legacy-type testimonials, like Mother Tekla’s: "I have great conversations with him. I talk to him as you would talk to Jesus, or the Madonna, or the saints. It isn't difficult." Woman, you need to take your meds. Now.
___________________________
Okay – so it’s hard to write an irreverent recap of a documentary with such a sacrosanct subject, and I have not taken my happy pill. However, despite my ADD, I managed to watch the whole show without fidgeting or doing something stupid (despite lots of inappropriate thoughts).
In all seriousness, Delia did a fantastic job and CNN should be VERY PROUD of her! GREAT WORK, DELIA!

Keywords: Delia Gallagher

1 Comments:
I am laughing my Catholic buns off after reading this entry. Mother Tekla, pointy shoes, gay alerts...you're too much!
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