Moralis Galeritus Prophylaxiae

The DGAS was able to obtain a leaked copy of the much-awaited Vatican document on condom use and we are pleased to print some excerpts:

Moralis Galeritus Prophylaxiae

Morality of Condom Use

1. The transmission of human life is a most serious role in which married people collaborate freely and responsibly. It has always been a source of great joy to them, even though it sometimes entails many difficulties and hardships.

2. The changes that have taken place are of considerable importance and varied in nature. In the first place there is the rapid spread of HIV, especially in developing countries. This can easily induce public authorities to be tempted to take even harsher measures to avert this danger.

3. The Magisterium has been unequivocal in its opposition to any form of birth control, as His Holiness Pope Paul VI outlined in the encyclical Humane Vitae. The permission to allow the use of condoms in no way negates this teaching; rather, it addresses the need of marriage couples, one of whom must be infected with HIV, but still intend to fulfill their conjugal duties as required by the scriptures.

4. There are very specific guidelines on when a married couple can use condoms without committing mortal sin and condemning themselves to hell for all eternity:

5. Use of condom is strictly for married heterosexual couples only - one man and one woman

6. At least one spouse should be HIV-infected; if the presence of the virus has not been detected with absolute certainty, the couple should err on the side of faith and not use condoms

7. Only Vatican-approved condoms should be used; imitation products are not acceptable. Authentic Catholic condoms have a hologram of the papal seal or of Pope Benedict XVI in each packet

8. For homosexuals who indulge in homo-sex: you are already going to hell, so you do not have to use Vatican-approved condoms, or any condom for that matter

9. If in the course of using condoms, you inadvertently prevented pregnancy, you must immediately go to confession and abstain from sexual contact for at least 90 days

25. Venerable brothers, beloved sons, all men of good will, great indeed is the work of education, of progress and of charity to which We now summon all of you. And this We do relying on the unshakable teaching of the Trojan, which teaching Peter's successor together with his brothers in the episcopate faithfully guards and interprets. And We are convinced that this truly great work will bring blessings both on the world and on the Trojan. For man cannot attain that true happiness for which he yearns with all the strength of his spirit, unless he keeps the laws as outlined by The Trojan Corporation. These laws must be wisely and lovingly observed. On this great work, on all of you and especially on married couples, We implore from the Trojan all virility and extra energy as an abundance of sexy grace as a pledge of which We gladly bestow Our apostolic blessing.


I'm still waiting for Delia's package on this subject - just so my inner 12-year old can hear Delia say "condom".

Delia Gallagher