Liberal Media

GWB has been on a road tour to gain more support for his Iraq war - the latest CNN / Gallup poll says 60% of the country does not think this war is worth it - and in the process has been blaming the media for portraying a very bleak picture of what's going on. "Bush, picking up a theme from conservative talk-show hosts, was more than disingenuous by trying to place blame for the country's pessimism on the media. Blame the messenger, especially the so-called liberal media."

I too am sick of this liberal media. Did you ever get that ominous feeling when you wake up in the morning that a lot of things in the world just aren't right? Like your little corner might be quiet and peaceful, but elsewhere, the world is slowly spinning into death and nothingness? That it might just be better for you to stay in bed and remain in your little happy place than venture out into our maelstrom of a society? Yes, that's how I feel. And I blame the media. Really. For constantly puking bad news on me and not giving me enough happy news. I only want happy news from now on! I am refusing to listen to tales of death and destruction, to exposés of government arrogance and conservative dictatorship. La-la-la... I can't hear you. Happy news... happy news... happy news...

For example:

"Gunman Kills 2, Self in Calif. Denny’s Restaurant" into "Denny's Restaurants Now with Shorter Wait Time"
"Bush Uncle Benefits from War Spending" into "Good News on Iraq: The Ec0nomic Gains of the War"
"Glacial Earthquakes' Warn of Global Warming" into "New Beach Front Properties" or "February Sunbathing in Maine!"
"Earth's Warming Likely Irreversible, Study Shows" -> please see preceeding alternative happy news
"Katrina Donation Earmarked for Bush Firm" into "Barbara Bush Is A Great Mom!"
"Bush Shuns Patriot Act Requirement" into "Bush Trims Government: Plan to Get Rid of Legislative and Judiciary Brances" or "Now We Are Really Safer!"
"U.S. to Contract Foreign Co. to Scan Cargo" into "Better Chinese Food in the Bahamas!"

From now on, I will only talk about a happy war, happy global warming, happy terrorism. I cannot trust the liberal mainstream media anymore; I think there is a disconcerted effort out there to make me and millions of other people sad. I don't want reality, I want ignorance. For yes, ignorance is bliss.

Except that in the last 27 years, 69% of all media political donations went to the GOP.


Keywords: Delia Gallagher